Ohhh my sparkly buttered scone,
how lovely to see you here!
Come, come—sit down.
The kettle’s on, and the spirits are already gathering.
Serafina (my crystal ball) is glowing,
and Balthazar—my black cat—is playing paws with the Spirit.
Always a sign!
So, dearie, you’ve met someone…
the spark is there, the butterflies are flapping, and you’re wondering:
Is this the one I’ll marry—or just another chapter
in the book of heartbreak?
Well, sugarplum, let Madame Destiny
do what she does best: Spill the tea with divine precision.
In this mystical-meets-mischievous reading,
I’ll read the signs across tea leaves, tarot cards,
and my trusted crystal ball Serafina—
while Balthazar the cat keeps watch
(and the drama to a minimum… most of the time).
I’ll dish on:
☕ Whether this person is marriage material,
or just a spiritual bootcamp in disguise
What the energy between you says
about long-term commitment
Tarot insights into their intentions,
your connection, and what’s really going on
A gaze into the crystal ball for
fated timelines, soul contracts, or red flags
Bonus: A saucy message from Spirit, truth delivered with a bang
No fluff. No delusion. Just real truth talk
with a bit of glitter and glamour, darling.
You’ll walk away with the clarity you crave,
and maybe a cheeky grin too.